Wizardness

He sat his in favorite chair. His breath was ragged in his throat. He leaned his head back, breathing deep, trying to catch a breath he’d never catch. His breath rattled in his throat as the light in his eyes dimmed.
“Damn,” I muttered. “FUCK!” I yelled. I looked over at Danny, “Did you really have to hit him like that? I mean, for fuck’s sake, look at him!” I forcefully gesture at the formerly living man in the well worn chair.
Danny looked down, like a puppy. His eyes all big and sorry. He even had the gall to scuff his shoe against the ground like some innocent lost kid. “I’m sorry boss.”
I skewered him with a look, “Danny, did you really just say sowwy to me? What are you a scene kid or something?”
Danny had the awareness to look ashamed, actually ashamed and not pretend ashamed. “Yea, I won’t do it again boss.”
I rubbed my face, “Danny, you’re 45 years old. You’re older than me, fucking act like it.” I turned and looked at the mess Danny made.
I rubbed my eyes, getting an eyelash in my eye, which caused me to gawp about for a minute.
“You ok, boss?”
I sighed a long ragged sigh, “Yea. I’m fine. Ok, well, get your bag and grab him and the chair. We gotta take both.” I pause, “Just don’t touch or take anything else.”
I leave Danny to get his bag set up. I call over my shoulder, “Leave it open until I finish searching the place.”
I don’t know if he heard me or not. With my luck, Danny probably trapped himself in his own bag. I scoffed at the idea. I quickly searched the place. More accurately, I used my wand to search the place. It’s a great little tool. It finds hidden compartments and magic auras identifying specific items you’re looking for.
The outline of the dead man’s safe appeared. It’s one of those where only the door is visible. Real fuckery those. I quickly cast a trap detection spell. I blew out a breath. “Fuuuuuck. Magic and mundane.”
Danny shambled into the room. He flicked his hair out of the way. It’s style cut in a style that was popular when he was in his 20s, well it was popular for people that were my age when he was in his 20s. He definitely was one of those guys that went after girls still wearing their ribbons.
I looked at the first trap. It’s mundane, but significant. I expand the details of the trap with my binocoles. I cast a cantrip to allow me to manipulate small objects. After a few moments of inspection, I figured out how to disarm the trap.
I worked forward, trap after trap. Until I hit the first magical trap. I stood up, stretched and cracked my back. I glanced around, my eyes large trying to focus on the room.
“I’m hungry boss.” Danny whined.
“Then eat.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, “I, uh, I” he poked his index fingers together, “I forgot to bring food.”
“Are you a fucking child? Then eat the dead man’s food! I need to concentrate.”
I squatted back down and began to work on the magical traps. These are good. Very good traps. The trap maker looked like he had been a blacksmith in the past. Each trap was interlocked with the next and the last. However, like a blacksmith’s puzzle, once you find the thread, they fell apart quickly.
An hour later, I stood, the whole puzzle was a snake eating it’s tail. There was no way to break it without a key. But there was always a way to get into a lock. These traps were just locks. That’s all they are, just another lock. I began to pace. I ran directly into Danny. I staggered back and nearly fell into the traps. I was on my back staring up at the ceiling. I saw the answer on the ceiling.
It was like one of those sculptures, where if you look at it from one direction, it’s a person’s face, or a scene from an epic battle, but if you look at it from another direction, it’s a heap of trash. I didn’t need to destroy the trap moving from front to back or back to front. I could attack it from another angle.
While I laid on my back, I shut my eyes and dove into the magical energy. I attacked it from inside the magic. As if I was a part of the trap, I was just more magic. I saw it then. the thread was back inside on itself. Neatly done, but not quite well enough for someone with my skill.
The whole set of traps collapsed and the door to the safe triggered. Forcing out another safe. One that would fit in our bag.
I stood up and looked at Danny, “Well, grab the safe and drop it on the chair in the bag. Then we can get out of here and get some real food.”
He grabbed his hat off his head, where did he get that hat? “I’m sooo sowwy, I sh -”
“GODS FUCKING DAMN IT!” I glared up at the man. I pulled out my bag and carefully opened it. I knew this might happen, so I had spares. They are just expensive to use.
“Danny put the safe in the bag.” I ordered.
He gave me a hang dog look, “Yes, sir.” I looked up at the ceiling in exasperation. My wand suddenly triggered, there was another trap there. Some how that sly dog had hidden the trap within the safe.
“Danny, STOP! put the safe down on that chair there.” He glumly put the safe on a stool.
“Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?”
“What? No. I think it’s another trap.” I snapped back.
I took the bag and slowly moved it up and over the safe. It’s hard to describe the feeling of putting a portal bag in another portal bag. The best way I’ve heard it described is reality is shrieking.
I immediately threw up, dropped to the ground, and shit myself.
Danny did the same.
Fortunately, between the two of us falling, the bag fell away from the “safe” and we regained our senses.
I staggered to my feet and grabbed my extra set of clothes from my bag. I tossed Danny another set too. After we’d changed, I pulled out the Tonic. It was the only way to truly recover from one of those events. It’s expensive, but the price of the work that we do.
I cast a quick cantrip to make the safe lighter. We packed up our bags. Danny took the safe, and we used a portal to get the fuck out of there.
We stepped out into my shop. Dawn was already peaking through the window. It’d been a long night, but it was annoying that she’d showed up already. The second sun hadn’t even risen yet!
She started pounding on the door. I glanced over at Danny, the son of a bitch was hiding. I sighed and opened the door.
“Good morn, Dawn. As you can see, we only just got back. We desperately need to clean up.” I said wearily.
“The burning sky, you do! You have my stuff or not?” She demanded.
“You didn’t tell us there were two safes. Nor did you tell us one was a portal.”
She took a step back and sniffed at me “Hmm, maybe you ought to make a trip to the salty sea and clean up.”
I chuckled, “You think the sunken lord would have us?” I waved away the question before she could answer. “I have a shower here.” I heard the water start, “Which Danny has apparently decided to use.”
Dawn laughed.
I gave her a sharp look. She laughed harder. “We will come to your temple when we are finished here.”
“Unthinkable! You rabble entering the Temple of the Flaming Twins? Unthinkable. You are their antithesis.” She put her hand to her chest.
“Fine. Fine, fine!” I mutter with exhaustion. I pulled the portal safe over to a work station. I began to analyze the lock. I pulled on my biconoles. The lock mechanism was relatively novel. Certainly wasn’t something that most people would have access too. I pulled my wand out and manipulated it, so it turned into a pick set.
The wand highlighted wards within the lock.
I leaned back and glared at Dawn, “You, or someone, put the Flaming Twins and the Fallen Brother in this lock as part of the mechanism?”
She looked away, sheepishly. She turned back, “Well, yes, the Flaming TWINS! Are the best sort of security we could think of.”
“The Fallen Brother?” I asked impatiently.
“There are heretical documents in here that we cannot have getting out!”
I looked at her through my binocoles. Then I flicked my wand to activate the shop security. The parameter flared up in my binocoles.
I leaned back my chair, “Ah. I see.”
“You’re blinded by the Fallen Brother. You cannot see.” Dawn cried.
I twitched my wand again. Security wards triggered. Screams. The shop was surrounded by screams. Dawn struck then, I rolled off the back of my stool. She staggered back as my feet swept up towards her.
She grabbed her charm and summoned two globes of fire. They began to orbit her. She shot her hand out, the smaller of the two, the one representing the sun in the sky, flew towards me.
I dove behind our counter, back towards the shop shower and kitchen. The small sun swung unnaturally towards me, skimming the ground, leaving streaks of fire in its wake. I lashed out with my wand, I struck the ball and sent it back towards Dawn.
She deftly pulled the sun back into orbit around her, sending the other flaming twin at me.
It was then Danny burst out of the shower. He was still naked, but he wasn’t a sad shameful man any longer. He caught the ball, as if it was nothing and burst it in his hands. He lunged and grabbed Dawn, even as she swung the other sun onto his head. She cried out as Danny burst her head.
The flame collapsed, leaving nothing by a few burnt marks on Danny’s cheek. He bellowed in rage and rushed out of the shop.
The other Golden Sun Templars were still working their way out of my traps. They never stood a chance against Danny.
In the time it would take me to walk around our shop, he’d killed a dozen men, bringing what remained of their corpses to the shop door. He left them there, like a cat. He staggered through the door. He looked at me, breathing heavy. Burn marks across his body rapidly healing, blood dripping down his body.
He wiped the rage from his face. He seemed to deflate. He shrunk back into that sad man.
I sighed, mourning the loss of who Danny should be, yet again.
“Why don’t you go wash up. I’ll take care of your offerings. I think you’ve made the Banished Brother happy today.” I smiled at him. “As for me, brother, you’ve made me proud.”